Silence
by mirrorshade
Summary: Squall Leonhart hadn’t spoken a word for 1 week, 6 days and 4 hours exactly. So the cavalry is called in, but in an unexpected form...Slash, IxS
1. Chapter 1

Squall Leonhart hadn't spoken a word for 1 week, 6 days and 4 ½ hours exactly. Nearly everybody in Balamb Garden had tried to pry speech out of him for a week with no success. No words, no smile, no nothing. There wasn't a flicker of emotion to reward their efforts, and all because of one Rinoa Heartilly. The second person ever to be able to get Squall to show emotion in public. The second person to abandon him when he showed signs of improvement.

From her position in Squall's mind, Shiva wept frozen tears. She wept for what could have been, and what almost was. The arctic goddess raged in her own way against the flighty woman who had cruelly left her charge, with no thought of the damage she would be doing. Suddenly she stopped, knowing what she must do. Taking her leave of her Lion's mind quietly, she set out in an icy wind to find the only person who could help him.

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Irvine pushed through the crowds in Galbadia, cursing the early morning rush. He finally managed to get into a quiet corner, wondering once again why he was out this early.

He had woken up in a weird state of restlessness, so he had left Galbadia's Garden in favour of its streets. He was heading back now, if the crowds would let him. The lanky man cursed, tilting his hat back. Despite the fact he loved the busy streets of the place where he had grown up; his thoughts kept drifting back to Balamb, and its Lion...Irvine shook his head, pushing thoughts of Squall away. He was probably happily settled down with Rinoa. Irvine grimaced at the memory of the woman who had stolen Squall's affections from him. He sauntered back through to his room, winking at the giggling girls who walked by. He slumped on his bed, glad for the privacy SeeD rooms brought. He shivered in a sudden cold breeze, frowning at the closed windows.

"Irvine" Irvine's head snapped up, staring at his uninvited guest. He recognised her instantly. Who wouldn't recognise the guardian of ice? She stood casually, arms folded and frosty blue eyes narrowed.

"Aren't you supposed to be with Squall?" He grinned at her, knowing he was taking a risk talking to her so.

"I was, until I took matters until my own hands" She replied coldly. I raised an eyebrow at her, not knowing what she was talking about but now wanting to let her onto the fact I didn't know.

"Why are you talking to me? I'm sure the 'orphanage gang' or Rin can help" I started to turn away, but her voice stopped me.

"Heartilly is the reason I am here" The bite in her voice as she said Rinoa's name was obvious, and I turned to look at her again.

"She left him then? Bound to happen, sooner or later" I quelled the sudden urge to grab Exeter,track Rinoa down and put a bullet through her heart.

"You still love him" He was a statement, not a question. Irvine started, but pasted another smirk on.

"Squall?" Shiva merely tilted her head and smirked in return.

"Yes, you still love my charge" She nodded her head, as if confirming something

"Come along, Kinneas. You're going back to Balamb Garden"

"Since when?" Irvine protested vehemently. Shiva glared at him, stance telling him to obey "Since when do I owe Squall **anything**?"

"He needs you. I can't help him,I can't give himwhat he needs" Shiva looked at him,sorrow in her face"He hasn't said a word for almost two weeks"

"...fine" Shiva gave me a faint smile, but it was sly this time "What? I'm not gonna leave him alone this time, if this is what's gonna happen"

Shiva merely smiled again, and waved a hand, a slip of paper appearing between her fingers. She held it out, and Irvine took it, ignoring the slight frost dusting it, and raised an eyebrow when he recognised a one-way Galbadia-Balamb ticket.

"Do I want to know how you got this?" All he got in rely was an indulgent smirk.

"If you are ever at a loss for what to do, speak to Siren. She thinks as I do" Before he could ask what that meant, Shiva had disappeared, leaving him alone with a piece of paper, a freezing room and enough intrigue to lead him back to where he was needed.

TBC...


	2. Chapter 2

I am very, very sorry for the months it took me to update! As an apology, this chapter is double the length I had originally planned, and hopefully it won't take me another few months to update this time.

Deine Rachael

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Chapter 2

Which was why, scarcely more than an hour later he was on the train heading back to Balamb, doubting his sanity and the reception he was going to get from his former lover. At the moment he was wondering how much it would hurt to jump out the window and head back to Galbadia, when a light, musical chuckle echoed in the room and a powerful presence filled his senses. Lilac eyes imprinted themselves on his mind, and he got the impression of a faint smile and mocking laughter.

"Shiva would not be impressed if I allowed you to throw yourself out of the window" Siren admonished him. Siren had been a kind of gift from Quistis before the final battle with Ultimecia, and she seemed to have taken to him immediately. Though he had been surprised when he discovered Siren had a personality and voice all her own, he realised that Squall must have been talking to Shiva when his eyes glazed and stared into the distance. However, Siren didn't speak to him as much as Shiva did to Squall, possibly because Squall had had Shiva for years – it was near impossible to separate her from him. Even when he changed his other junctions Irvine could not remember Squall ever un-junctioning Shiva.

Siren laughed again inside his mind, and he felt a stir from Leviathan, who was still 'sleeping'. He would have removed his GFs, but since he had just come back off a mission when Shiva had found him he had simply forgotten to.

"Why does Shiva need me to snap Squall out of it? People like Zell and Quistis have known Squall for far longer" He asked aloud, even though he directed the question towards Siren. He thanked whoever thought of private cars for SeeDs.

"Your...connection, so to speak, with Squall is deeper than that he has with Dincht or Trepe. Though you knew each other as children you had all forgotten each other – your relationship revived the connection from childhood. You know him better than most"

"Since when did you have this insight?"

"Shiva told me" He snorted and he felt the mental frown she gave him "We are guardians. We are more than capable of multi-tasking"

"So if GFs can talk to people then why do none of you talk to me? The others have never mentioned their GFs talking to them either"

"You don't need us to. Squall was, is a lonely person – both fate and choice made him that way. He needed Shiva to keep him company, to listen to him, otherwise he might well have been truly lost or beyond change by the time you met. You don't need me for that..."

Irvine heard the 'but' unsaid at the end "And?"

"When he was with you, he spoke to Shiva less, as he felt he didn't need to"

"But she said he wasn't speakin' to her now"

"No, but it was different. With you, he was happy, he still shared thoughts and feelings with her. He seems to have completely cut her out now"

"So she's worried?"

"Oddly for a GF, she is fond of him. She knows his mind and has grown to like him. You wouldn't guess that not more than one hundred years ago she would have killed you if you had said that she would be content in the mind of a child. A boy, none the less. A spirit of snow and ice trapped in the mind of a man - preposterous" This explanation was followed by tinkling laughter.

"What were you, 100 years ago?"

"A nymph" At that Irvine cracked up into laughter that made a train attendant peer into the room worriedly "Kinneas! Honestly! An **air** nymph, a creature of air and song"

Still chuckling, he waved the attendant away and returned his gaze to the window, ignoring Siren's peeved comment of "Is copulation all you think of?"

"So what is Shiva expectin' me to do? Wander in and make him instantly start talking? Squally's always been quiet" He frowned at the mental eye roll he got in return "What?"

"You love him, and as far as Shiva can tell he loves you. Do what you can"

"He left me for Rin, didn't he?" He snapped back, unaware how it echoed in the room and again won him a glance from the attendant outside.

"As I recall, Kinneas, you were incredibly cruel to him to make him leave with Heartilly"

He bit his lip "Only because..."

"Yes?"

"Only because...it was what he seemed to want"

"Because he felt that everyone, including you, wanted him to be with Heartilly" She corrected.

He scowled, violet eyes glaring murderously as the attendant opened the door to announce arrival at Balamb. He stood and stalked past the pale young man and out into the sunshine and sea breeze. He folded his arms and looked across to where the Garden was clearly visible.

"I still don't know what I'm gonna do" He muttered as he walked out of the tiny town.

"You'll think of something" came the cheery reply from inside his mind. He sighed deeply and headed up the path, Exeter slung over his shoulder even though with all the recent SeeD recruit training, there were even less monsters then there had been before. It didn't hurt to be ready though. He didn't want to suffer the embarrassment of being a fully-fledged SeeD (made so after the War) poisoned by a Fastitocalon-F.

Eventually he was standing at the entrance of Balamb Garden, and wondered when he had grown to hate the sight of it.

'Oh yeah, when I left Squall' He reminded himself, ignoring the smug look Siren sent him. He groaned deeply and stepped in, ignoring the surprised, confused and awestruck looks as Irvine Kinneas, hero of the Sorceress War, walking among with with an expression of a puppy expecting a kick.

'Why do I feel like Squall is going to murder me as soon as he sees me?'

Siren's laughter didn't reassure him at all.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you all for your very kind reviews! And irishais - thank you for pointing out the various grammatical mistakes - my computer has a habit of inserting random commas wherever it feels like it and I mostly don't notice. Thank you again!

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Chapter 3

Irvine trudged through the corridors of Garden, for all the world looking like a man going to his death rather than one returning to the home of comrades and friends. However, he was snapped out of uncharacteristic grim thoughts by a familiar, chirpy voice.

"Irvy!"

He cracked a grin, managing to brace himself for the impact as a blur in SeeD uniform threw itself at him "Howdy, darlin'"

Selphie grinned up at him, eyes dancing "Why did it take you so long to visit?" She scowled "I was about to **order** you to come over"

"This isn't much of a visit, Selph. I've got orders, kinda"

"Hmm..." Her face scrunched up as she thought deeply "Oh! You're here to talk to Squally?"

"That's right. Is he in his office?"

She sighed and rolled her eyes "Of course he is! Everyone's tried to talk to him – me, Zelly, Quisty, Cid, Matron, Ellone, Sir Laguna...even Seifer, but all Squall did was cast whatever spell came to mind. Commander Grumpy won't talk to anyone"

Irvine snorted "Why did _Seifer_ try?"

"We thought that if they fought, Squally would get angry and talk, just like when they used to argue when they were kids"

"Selph, Squall doesn't talk when he's angry, he goes into that creepy stage, with the 'I know one hundred different ways to kill you with a pencil' glare"

"So, it was wishful thinking" she shrugged as they approached the elevator "We did our best" she keyed in the code for the Headmaster's office before turning to grin at him "Should I fetch Doctor Kadowaki?"

"It's okay, Selph. I have several curative spells stored and Siren junctioned, just in case. Don't worry, if he kills me I assure you that you will be the first to know"

She nodded, and he saw worry and joy warring in her eyes. She had known about him and Squall, of course she had. Selphie had incredible perception, often seeing things that nobody else could, sometimes even beyond Matron. And so she was the only one who knew, and so the only one who opposed the Squall x Rinoa love match, but since they had sworn her to secrecy she couldn't say or do anything to stop it.

Instead of saying anything, he simply gave her one of his usual confident grins and a brotherly kiss on the cheek before stepping into the lift – all the while cursing everything that had landed him in this position, and a few things that hadn't. In any other circumstances he would merely have been looking forward to seeing Squall again, but past experience had taught him that the feeling would not be mutual.

He remembered the ball after the War, when even thought Rinoa had been able to coax a smile from Squall, even standing on the other side of the room Irvine had been able to see how fake the smiles were. When Squall smiled – truly smiled – it was with his eyes, not his mouth. Then there had been 'the look' Irvine had gotten – the bleeding pain and the question of 'why?' in grey eyes before Squall's mental barriers had slammed down and anything Squall felt was again hidden from the view of the world. The ding of the elevator interrupted his thoughts, but he still barely heard Xu's surprised greeting.

"Irvine?"

He started and smiled apologetically "Sorry, Xu" He nodded towards the other shut door in the room "Squall's in?"

"Yes. So you're the next victim" She sighed "Please, Kinneas, if you're successful please try to get him to sleep. He hasn't gotten any sleep at all and I'm worried he's going to overdo it"

He tipped his hat "Will do ma'am" He said cheekily, ignoring the sick feeling coiling in his stomach. He nodded to her again and walked towards the door, nudging it open and closing it behind him. When Squall didn't so much as glance up from his work, he allowed himself to take stock of what had changed. Squall looked thinner, that was a clear, with an uneaten meal sitting next to his papers and strong hands looking bonier than ever before, but he still looked good.

'_It's Squall. He's look good on his death-bed, Kinneas'_ he reminded himself. He strolled over to the desk, stopping in front of it and leaning over to whisper in Squall's ear.

"Howdy, darlin'" he frowned as Squall started slightly – he really **was** out of practice.

He appreciated the storm-flecked eyes even as they turned to him with a murderous glint in them, and he flinched when he saw nothing behind the flat grey gaze - before, even when he was glaring there had been **some** emotion in them.

'_Hyne, Rinoa, what did you do? What did __**I**__ do?'_

"Sorry to interrupt, darlin', but Shiva sent me" the eyes narrowed a fraction – a reaction, at least.

"C'mon darlin', you're not still vexed that Rin and I dropped you?" he knew he was pushing his luck, but the continued reaction (small as it was) was worth it.

"It's not our fault that you have a tendency to be a cold-hearted bastard. You wanted to be with Rinoa so I left" at least, it had seemed that way to him at the time "and then Rinoa leaves you because whatever person you may have been has been shut away for years, now"

He repressed a smirk as Squall stood and the air crackled dangerously with magic. However, before Squall could unleash whatever spell he had been preparing he swayed on his feet and Irvine was forced to catch the Headmaster of Balamb Garden before he could fully collapse to the floor.

"You idiot, Squally" He muttered into the dark head, before his voice softened "I'm sorry Squall. I'm so very sorry"

He sniffed and hauled Squall up fully, edging over to Squall's own quarters which were attached to his office, inputting a code which he knew by heart. He swallowed hard when he remembered the last time he had been in Squall's room, and placed Squall gently on the bed.

Sleeping Squall was much easier to watch than awake Squall, Irvine mused. Awake, he was too aware of his surroundings to be observed without his noticing, which usually resulted in a pointed glare and orders to stop. Asleep, his face was relaxed and without his defences, making him actually look like the 18-year-old he was, rather than the Headmaster he had to be.

Speaking of...Irvine looked around for Squall's gunblade, finally seeing the blue weapon on hooks on the opposite wall. It was obvious that 'Lionheart' hadn't seen action since Irvine had left Squall's bed and Squall himself.

'_Probably because of Rinoa. She wouldn't want her precious Knight to see battle and possibly get harmed. Never mind that it was what he was raised to do, and part of his duty and a Knight. It's not in his nature to left others defend him – stubborn bastard'_ He finished affectionately, turning his attention back to the young man asleep on a bed that had been gathering dust.

Irvine's hands itched to run through the silver-brown hair, knowing he would find it soft and smelling of rain. However, now Irvine could see what he hadn't earlier. Squall was pale, his skin was pinched and pulled tight by stress, and he could see lines under the eyes that he hadn't been able to spot earlier. The soft glossy hair of his memories was lank, the ragged cut longer than usual. With this new information, Irvine could see that Squall was much worse of than he had originally seemed.

He sighed deeply and lifted his head to stare at the ceiling.

"Well what am I gonna do now?" He asked himself "It's not like I can talk to Squall"

'Well, maybe just explaining things to yourself would help' Siren's voice came unbidden, the clear notes ringing in the still room.

"Don't **do** that" he scolded her "Fine. I was an idiot? I let myself be press ganged into a decision? What?"

'What do **you** think?' she replied quietly.

"I...it seemed right, I felt like I was disturbing the natural order of things. You know, a Knight should be with his Sorceress, and I was getting in the way of that. Or at least people thought that they should be together, and I guess I decided that that was what I should think, too" He snorted softly "Guess I'm an idiot for letting him simply slide though my fingers, eh?"

Unfortunately for Irvine, he had failed to notice that through out his monologue the pitch of Squall's breathing had changed, so that when he looked down from the ceiling he saw a pair of grey eyes watching him thoughtfully from a too-pale face.

"Oh"

'_Crap'_

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Don't worry! The dramatic confrontation will be the **next** chapter - whenever that'll be out. Sorry for the delay I'm predicting - I'll try to get it out sometime this month.


	4. Chapter 4

And here it comes, the TALK! The moment you've all been waiting for! Thanks for the reviews and enjoy, minna-san! (And yes, I **have** trademarked the WtFDYTYD? expression).

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There were some things that Irvine could only say he hated about Squall Leonhart. Among these was the facial expression that squall had often given during their early days together – one eyebrow slightly raised, but mouth down in a scowl that Irvine had dubbed the 'What the Hell Do You Think You're Doing?' look. Another was the fact that he was always so **polite** – even with the 'WtFDYTYD?' expression he usually spoke politely to everybody with a higher position than him. As evidenced by his respectful mannerisms towards Martine despite the fact that Irvine **knew** that the G-Garden Headmaster gave Squall the creeps. 

But at the moment what he hated most was Squall's ability to wake up silently – whenever Irvine had slept in Squall's bed before he had always been unnerved by how Squall would be asleep one moment and then awake and annoyingly alert the next.

"Oh" he said again, as the painfully gorgeous man the bed continued to study him, long dark eyelashes blinking slowly. Irvine took hope in the fact that Squall wasn't trying to kill him yet, and tried to form a proper sentence.

"You know" he drawled "I almost had a goddamn heart attack when Shiva turned up on my doorstep. Hyne, I thought you'd gotten yourself killed, or something like that – or that Selph had finally caused you to have a mental breakdown with her plans for the annual festival" He sighed "I've never felt like more of a bastard in my life, darlin'. What was worse that while I wanted you happy more than anythin', I would rather it hadn't been with Rinoa. Sorry"

Still the grey eyes watched him, and he shook his head slowly "Forgive me, I knew not what I did" He smirked before sobering again and leaning forward "Do me a favour, darlin'? Take care of yourself – I don't any right to ask anything of you anymore, but just...take care. I don't like to see any of the 'Orphanage Gang' worry themselves sick over you"

He stood and brushed off his coat "Take care, Squall. And..." He paused "Smile. It suits you better, you know" he turned away, aware of that sharp gaze boring into his back, and recognised that something inside him had broken some time ago, and it didn't look like it was going to be fixed anytime soon.

He was almost at the door when the single, glorious sound rang out – Siren herself would have been hard pressed to match it.

"Irvine"

-

The voice was cracked, raw, and painfully familiar and the most beautiful things Irvine had ever heard. He spun and Squall was sitting up, uniform crumpled and body weakened but still a sight Irvine would happily pass up anything to see.

"Irvine" Squall repeated cautiously, testing the sound, and wincing from the soreness of an underused voice.

"Squall" He mimicked, wincing at the strained tone of his own voice "Long time no hear"

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Irvine cringed, the phrase usually only came from Squall's facial expression – and usually Squall didn't curse either "You seem to have a habit of re-arranging others' lives and then not staying around to view the effects"

Irvine winced again at the dead tone of Squall's voice – he might have been speaking, Irvine thought, but Squall specialized in being emotionally restrained to the point of not feeling emotion at all.

"Darlin'...I screwed up, I'll admit to that – but like I said, I did it because I thought you would be happier and that Rinoa was..." He bit his lip but '...less of a bitch' hung in the air between them.

"So you just wanted forgiveness? That's all?" The tone of Squall's voice was cutting – it cut him, in fact.

"Squall, I thought you knew me better 'n that. No amount of forgiveness will make me feel better. No" he said suddenly "I feel compelled to keep an eye on you – according to Shiva, anyway. Even if you don't love me – Hyne I've given you enough reason not to – I can't help but care" he shrugged, trying to lighten the moment "That's all"

"And next time, Squall" Irvine continued, hiding how much he wished that there wouldn't have to **be** a 'next time' "Don't do something that causes everyone who knows you to panic, all right? No more silent episodes"

"Everyone encouraged me to use my voice more" Squall interrupted, flatly.

"Teenage rebellion, Squall?" Irvine sniped back, receiving a mildly hostile glare for his trouble.

"Everyone but you. You said I didn't need to speak..."

"...because anyone who cared enough would hear what you didn't say" Irvine finished, a twinge of pain coming to him from that half-remembered memory – a happier time on a rainy day "You remembered"

Squall shrugged "Useful"

"Of course" Irvine smiled indulgently – as if Squall would remember anything he couldn't use – he wasn't one to admit sentimentality.

"Did you mean it?" Squall said suddenly "About why?"

Irvine paused, trying to follow the sudden change in subject, and then startled when he finally managed to catch up "Would I lie to you, darlin'?"

"I recall a cowboy who would claim he founded Galbadia if it charmed a woman into his bed"

"Aw, darlin', that stings. I'd never resort to lyin' to do that" He grinned, and then became serious "I meant every word"

A curt nod, which Irvine took as a dismissal, and he walked to the door before pausing, something akin to morbid curiosity aroused in him "Squall, why **did** Rinoa take off? Everybody said that they had no idea"

Squall's facial expression changed enough for it to be a flinch "At first it was easy to be with her – I was angry with you and it was simple to focus everything on Rinoa, but later it was so much _harder_. She left because she felt I didn't care" A shrug "I did care – but not enough, evidently"

"Your mind wandered?" Irvine pondered it "Hey Squall"

"Mm" the low, lazy purr of acknowledgment still made Irvine react in a way he didn't want to focus on at that moment.

"Your mind wandered to what?"

And then, because Squall Leonhart believed in brutal honesty at all times, the answer came, dropped in a husky, Balamb lilt.

"You"


	5. Chapter 5

Hello again, after far, **far** too long. I hope you can forgive liberties I'm taking with my claims of 'writer's block', but you know - all coursework and no play makes Rai a dull girl. I did originally post a version of this chapter earlier, however a very kind reviewer posted a very astute, kind review (forgive me for not remembering the name, just know that I'm grateful) that I took to heart and began to re-do this chapter. So voila, the finished product.

And to everybody (particularly _irishais_ for picking out my grammatical mistakes) thank you very, very much for your support -bows-.

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"_Your mind wandered?"_

"_Mm" the low, lazy purr of acknowledgment still made Irvine react in a way he didn't want to focus on at that moment._

"_To what?"_

_And then, because Squall Leonhart believed in brutal honesty at all times, the answer came, dropped in a husky, Balamb lilt._

"_You"_

He froze, his mind echoing back the single syllable word back to him like a broken tape recorder. It repeated inside his suddenly quiet mind – even the soothing, musical whispers of Leviathan and Siren for once silenced. He stared back into introspective grey eyes which contained no emotion other than reflecting his own shock back at him.

How long had Squall thought that? How long had Squall thought that, if his heart was cut open and his secrets spilled, keeping dispassionate about it would stop anybody from caring about it? The mirror-like eyes reflected that well enough – Squall was trying to force him to match his level of not-caring by not showing any emotion himself.

When speech returned to him after some undetermined length of time, he struggled for words – syllables rising into his throat before dying there and leaving him still mute. He settled for slumping back into the chair next to Squall's bed, breath escaping in one long rush "Aw, hell"

"Eloquently put as ever, Irvine"

Suppressing a shiver at how _right_ his name sounded in Squall's low, deceptively lazy voice, he raised his head from his hands and shot Squall a dark look "You're awfully calm" He continued as one dark eyebrow raised in question "The great Lion of Balamb just about admitted he cared about something. Thought you'd be havin' an aneurysm by now, darlin'"

A wry, bitter smirk grew on Squall's face; though his eyes continued to reflect no inner emotion "I'm Squall Leonhart, Kinneas. According to anybody you might ask, I love nobody and I feel no pain"

Irvine snorted "That's bullshit and you know it" Squall merely shrugged in reply and turned his gaze back to the opposite wall "So what do we do now?"

The impassive storm-grey gaze was back on him again "Now?"

"We both just admitted that we messed up, and we still care, right?" He looked back at Squall, and almost forgot to breathe until the dark head tilted in acknowledgement "So what do we do now?"

He shifted back as Squall slid off of the bed and stood, swaying slightly but still, outwardly, every bit the same 'Lion' who had faced Ultimecia, all those months ago – even with new stress and exhaustion. He still _looked_ battle-ready, still as calm, calculating and sharp as he ever was, but at this distance Irvine could see the ties of new responsibility, of old pain. "We only, really, have two choices, Kinneas" Squall sighed "We can go back to our everyday lives, forget that this ever happened, and everything that we ever were"

"D'you think you can do that darlin'? Because I sure as hell can't" In another time and another place, he may have flinched at how weak he sounded, how inwardly desperate he was to not be dismissed from the presence of his old lover and even older friend.

He met Squall's coolly impassive eyes for a moment before the lines around them softened slightly and the younger man replied "No. I could not"

"Then what's our other option?" Irvine could only hope what it would be – Squall might well tell him to leave and never come back.

"We fix it" As both would have guessed, Squall's matter-of-fact nature was one that would never change in the years to come.

"You make it sound so simple" Irvine sighed.

"It is" Squall replied, frank as ever "We fix the world of fantasy that our lives have become. I think we need each other for that"

"How do you know that _my_ life has become a mess?"

"You're here, aren't you?"

Irvine had meant it, before. He had always hated and admired Squall's ability to speak about painful and/or emotional topics without his voice so much as trembling. His blunt honesty caused pain and healed hearts in equal measures. People were as much angered by his cold way of voicing the truth as they were comforted by his constancy and ability to tell things exactly the way they were. He didn't tell the truth to be moral, he was just voicing facts. It was probably the reason why many of his relationships were old and forged through fire - the Orphanage Gang had known Squall too long and had been through too much with him to take his (often unintentional) callousness completely to heart. Even if their memory of each other had been faint, the link between them had stopped them from reacting to Squall as a stranger would – as Rinoa had – by turning away from the harsh young man with a chip on his shoulder.

People like Quistis had tried and failed to change him – sometimes even friendship couldn't change behaviour based on a short lifetime's worth of experience of little but loneliness. Even Irvine doubted he could ever convince Squall to let go of his belief that he would one day be abandoned – in some ways he was still very much the little boy who had clung to Ellone like a limpet, not the Lion he would become.

Irvine had been silent too long, and Squall raised an eyebrow and prompted "Well?"

"You claim to not like people, but you're pretty good at understanding them, darlin'" Irvine grumbled, evading the point. It would be so much easier to go back and forget Squall and get on with his life. But his 'life', wasn't really a life, as Squall had pointed out, without the cynical, silent B-Garden Commander in it.

He looked back up at Squall, who was watching him with level calmness, though he could see the trepidation hovering around quiet eyes.

"We restart from the beginning" He announced, and he grinned broadly as he saw Squall's facial expression flicker. Squall's eyes were an iron grey, a severe grey, stone, steel, slate, timber, storm-on-the-horizon grey, but as pale blue flickered in them with a smile like the sun after hard rain, something healed so quickly in Irvine it felt exactly like it was breaking again.

With a smile still playing around his eyes, Squall spoke with a roughness in didn't come from lack of use "Together, we quit the lies."

-

It was dark when Irvine's eyes snapped open, completely awake and with no idea where the hell he was. He lay quietly, breathing hard with his heart pounding like he had just run to Galbadia and back. Closing his eyes, he attempted to think back to why he had woken so suddenly. He had been dreaming that...His eyes snapped open again.

'_Sweet Hyne no'_

He had dreamt it. His head flopped onto the pillow and he groaned – his overactive imagination had been playing tricks on him. Again. Grumbling quietly, and still half-asleep, he propped himself up on one elbow. The room was typical SeeD standard, varying little from Garden and Garden, and at night it certainly _looked_ like his. But he frowned, noticing touches like the leather jacket thrown over a chair, and the huge crystalline gunblade on the wall. This wasn't his room, but-

"Irvine, if you're not dying than shut up" The voice, still crisp at – he glanced at the clock – 3:34 AM in the morning cut the silence. Unnoticed by the other, he felt his mouth curve into a broad grin more suited to Zell, or Selphie.

"Sorry darlin'. Thought I dreamt you"

He was gratified when dark lashes flicker open and pin him with a look that, after so much practice, was downright deadly "So help me, Irvine, if that was one of your cheap pick up lines..."

Unfortunately for Squall, Irvine had become immune to the glare-of-death some time ago "Cheap? There's nothin' cheap about them" He leaned down until he was smiling into the stern gaze, seeing soft tinges of sky-blue gentling the storm-grey there, and, smirking, he added "They caught you, didn't they?" an eyebrow rose "They didn't?"

Squall shut his eyes again "Good_night_, Kinneas"

There was a long silence, but Irvine could almost hear the cogs turning in Squall's matter-of-fact mind. He wasn't long in waiting.

"Irvine, if we agreed to 'restart from the beginning' doesn't that mean that you just had sex with a complete stranger?"

"Shut up Leonhart"

_owari_


End file.
